A random deep thought

We don’t know what’s ahead. We can never be prepared for tomorrow..not the way we think we can prepare. So many decisions, so many events, so many things are happening all at once. So many things we can’t control are coming and going, passing us by.
I can’t tell what I’m going to experience this year. I cannot see passed today. I can only think about how today can end and what I can choose to get to an end. I can’t see what will happen tomorrow because I don’t know if I’ll wake up tomorrow tomorrow isn’t promised today. But I can live like today is the last day I have to live. I talk about these things because of this:

“I have observed something else under the sun. The fastest runner doesn’t always win the race, and the strongest warrior doesn’t always win the battle. The wise sometimes go hungry, and the skillful are not necessarily wealthy. And those who are educated don’t always lead successful lives. It is all decided by chance, by being in the right place at the right time. People can never predict when hard times might come. Like fish in a net or birds in a trap, people are caught by sudden tragedy. (Ecclesiastes 9:11, 12 NLT)”

Accept the way God does things, for who can straighten what he has made crooked? Enjoy prosperity while you can, but when hard times strike, realize that both come from God. Remember that nothing is certain in this life. (Ecclesiastes 7:13, 14 NLT)

Nothing is certain in this life.

I thought I could control certain things in my life but the more I try to, the more I realize I have no control. It’s all too big for me to try to orchestrate. God does these things, I can’t fight against His will, I cannot see what He sees. I cannot see His plan for me yet and I don’t really think I ever will.

I cannot predict my future based on what is happening in the present. So whatever is happening right now, whatever plans that I am making at this time can change at a drop of a dime. God can cause events that happen that will break my heart, that will test my faith, that will bring fear into my heart, that will bring hope, that will bring doubt and it’s all for a reason that I won’t know until the time God wants me to see the plan.

It’s hard to let go of the wheel and trust God with where He’s going right now. I’ve realized how self centered I am. I’ve realized where I’m heading in life and for the first time I have no confidence in what I can do to cover all sides of my palace. Anything can happen anything can change. It’s scary and I’m at the point that all I can do is hold on.

Hold on to my faith and trust in God. That’s all I have to move forward now. He is my ally in this adventure he is my friend on a quest that I have no map for. He is my sword and shield while I head towards the mountain where a dragon resides that I can only defeat.

This is my story that God is the author of and this is the part of the story where the character starts to find out if he has what it takes. This the climax where I fight one of my biggest villains. This is probably where I meet my joker, my Lex Luthor, my Darth Vader.

Seriously though this is where I will meet my nemesis. My strength is going to come from God and only from Him.

I’m excited but I’m also afraid if the hopes I have will become reality or not. That’s where my faith will come in.

Yeah, this is where I’ll finally become the man I was supposed to become.

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